I didn't think the story you wrote was trite and I loved the idea and I liked the "hey just imagine stuff" message. And I have to agree that I can't see a way to implement my suggestions that wouldn't make the story trite. But I didn't get a "that all worked in a really cool way" feeling at the end which I felt, somehow, it should have done and that feeling stemmed from a dissatisfaction about the way the Doctor and Martha fitted in (though I'm not sure whether I wanted them to be more clearly fictious, more clearly real, or more heavily signposted ambiguity or what) but I'd hate that to be read as a plea that writers stop trying to be adventurous or personal.

The 1970s annuals are kind of special in a bizarre way but I'd hate to see the writing in these storybooks descend to the rather unadventurous, by the numbers writing I recall from a lot of the TV tie-in annuals I remember from my childhood (or don't remember the stories from, which is more damning in a way).

... and thanks for dropping by to write a comment, one of the reasons I write reviews is because I want to discuss the stories, the opportunity to discuss it with the author is an added bonus.